Chap1* The Present…

                                     


I don't know what to do with me life...

     Should I also get into the queue with other madmen in the chase of endless wealth? Or run away to some unknown mountain like a Sufi saint or sage in the search of redemption? Or just end my life and finish this restless drama of countless breathing?

     Whatever... but i will not leave before writing down the story of my life. But, What is so special in my life to pen down?

I don't know...

      May be it will hit the chord with some other soul reading it, same frequency people (as she used to call them...)

      Or may be I want to memorialize her in my words...

     Or while writing, may be, Ill get to live that life once again, at least in my thoughts... I wish...

Here I am...

Sitting in a dark room with just a small lamp illuminating the pages of my diary.

    While I try to kill the hours of my life by burning my lungs with the smoke of cigarettes, I close my eyes thinking about, what went wrong.

Was it my destiny, my fate, my foolishness or just a prank by God?

     Today as I look back towards the journey of my life, all that I can remember is… those years!!! The years full of life. Moments filled with music, dance, dreams and lots of dreams… and … Those eyes… the eyes which had every possible expression in them…

     The eyes which took its last breath staring back at me... asking for answers (which I never had)… The only heart in the galaxy who actually loved me genuinely 

                   
               And that love caused her death…

Chap2* Little steps towards my journey

Years ago...

        After getting my admission done in a prestigious engineering college in Bangalore, my dad rushed to catch a flight back to Delhi as his business meetings were put on hold…

        While leaving, Dad shook hands with me, formally, with a smile, as if he had bagged a big deal… and got into the cab, which was already waiting for him.

       Who am I? What is my background? How do I look? Well, I am a normal teenage boy born and brought up in New Delhi. Only child, a loner and what else...?

        I don't know how to describe me, at this point of time? Or if we think about it, that's what am going  to pen down. So, I leave it on you to judge me as every chapter unfolds my life.

        I thought I was very happy to escape from my parent's house and was brave enough to face the world on my own. But as I bid-adieu to my Dad, I experienced a blank feeling, a vacuum around me.

 I felt scared, nervous and excited at the same time…

       All the way, I kept telling myself, “I am going to study very hard & that’s going to make me very successful in life… Clueless on what stars had in store for me…

       I had no idea that with my little steps back to the hostel, I had already started drawing a new story on the canvas of time…

Chap4* First Day

My first night in hostel was not as bad as I had feared until I heard a horrifying sound…as if some boy is shouting while beating drums…and bells…
” Ting Ting Hey… Hey Hey ..
Ting Ting Hey …Hey Hey”

“What the heck…” I almost shouted

As my sleepy head came back to alert mode, I realized that it was Deepak’s alarm…

He took his tooth brush and soap case and hurried to the washroom. Within ten minutes he re-appeared , grabbed a text book, syllabus book and rushed outside the room… In the haste he didn’t bother to close the door behind him…

As only my head was outside the blanket, cool breeze of October month filled in the room and ran through my hair…

“Ahhh! Absolute bliss!!!” I murmured while stretching my right arm outside the blanket…

I peeped outside the door and saw Deepak at one corner covered with shawl…engrossed in books…

“Daaaad!!! You got no one better than this cartoon to put me up with?” - I grumbled

Anyways I was awake … And anxiety didn’t allow me to go back to sleep so I got ready early and came out of the hostel to explore the campus on my own…

As I was crossing the blocks, with the names – Information Science, Electronics and Communication, Telecommunication, I wondered how would be the life of engineers who have come out of these walls…

How am I going to spend 4 years away from home, my friends back at home?

Though I had put on a brave face but only my heart knew how nervous I was.

The empty campus was slowly getting filled … Within an hour the whole campus came to life with the energy of youth.

I started walking towards my class room.

As I was going to enter, two guys came rushing outside the class room. One of them kept hand on my shoulder and said

“Hey, we are going to get chalks and duster from the stock room. Can you go to the staff room and call Vadivelu sir for chemistry class without any delay ?”

They rushed downstairs before even finishing the sentence.
Understanding the urgency I too rushed with the same pace towards staff room.

“What was the name again… Vadivelu… Why do they have funny names in South India” ~ I wondered.



There was one male and two female teachers sitting in the staff room. I looked at the dark thin only male teacher siting there and asked

“Are you Vadivelu, sir?”

Both female teachers looked at me and broke into a big laughter…

Sir got up from chair and with red eyes and angry face shouted at me
“You bloody rascal! What do you think of yourself? So much guts??? I’ll screw your life… Your career … Get out of here …you bloody rascal…”

I came out in confusion… and saw few guys standing outside our classroom, laughing uncontrollably… Deepak was also there standing at one corner, smiling…I caught him by collar and asked what’s wrong…

“You have fallen prey to the prank of seniors… Vadivelu is the name of Tamil film Comedian and seniors tease our chemistry sir by calling him Vadivelu… as he resembles him … His real name is Nagraj” Deepak smiled and told

“Oh No!!!!!” ~ I grunted

“And to increase your agony.. He is our hostel warden too” ~ Deepak told

“I almost fainted …”